Living Your “Dream” Life
This is a topic I don’t think people used to write about 100 years ago. This is a topic that grows like weeds all over social media. People claim they have the answers for you and act like they know what you’re doing wrong. Let me know if this sounds familiar: “You’re trapped in your 9-5”, “Go travel the world and get out of your sad little town”, “Life is short and then you die”. And look man, these are all good reminders to stay hungry, but when other people (who are strangers on our feed) share with us their life in a way that feels like their way of life is superior, it makes it easy to diminish all the hard work and things we’re currently working towards in our life.
Now, there is something to be said about following your dreams and not letting them fall victim to lack of belief, lack of acceptance, or an inability to achieve them. We are given unique visions of life because they are ours to alchemize, they are dreams that not everyone else has. And I suppose what the message on social media means to convey is that, you should work toward your dreams so you can live your dream life, but the truth about following your dreams is that it’s hard to become aware that you’re even living your dream life. Because it takes so much time to get actually there, by the time you do, it just feels like life. It doesn’t feel like this ethereal, hard to reach thing anymore, it feels like this tangible, beautiful essence of pure peace and joy. A contentment for just being alive.
DREAMER AT HEART
I’ve been a dream chaser my whole life. But the problem with this is that: There will be many, many dreams. For me, I’ve had dreams of being an EDM pop singer and performer, a skydive instructor, a farmer, a digital nomad, a CEO, a hostel owner, a baker, a librarian, an author, a mother, a monk, a traveling world-renowned yoga instructor with her own online business, and the list goes on, but you can see how some of these could be contradictory, yes?
How do I care for a farm and also be a digital nomad? How do I live out my dreams of being a mother and monk? Easy answer: not possible. You have to choose which dream you think is worth pursuing and draw it into fruition through your actions. You are totally capable of aligning your actions with that dream to achieve it in a real way, but we get hung up on the influx of dreams and get option paralysis, overwhelming ourselves with the question of “which one is the right path?”. We aren’t really sure how to know which dreams to pick and we have a difficult time differentiating which one are truly ours to own and which ones are coming from other people? Yes? No? Maybe so?
CHOOSING YOUR DREAM
I’m not someone that was 5 years old and clearly stated what I wanted to be and held that vision to now, 25 years of age, nuh uh, that wasn’t me. Unfortunately, we think something is wrong with us if we don’t have our whole life planned out by 18. I recall being 17 and feeling such fear about going to college because I didn’t know what I wanted to study for 4 years and then be stuck in that hole for the rest of my life. So when we have a lot of different dreams that don’t align, how do we know which ones to choose?
When confronted with a multitude of diverging dreams, prioritize based on core values, passions, and long-term aspirations. For example, a reason I didn’t want to pursue being a monk is because I love family so much. I knew that I would have to sacrifice all of that just to meditate in a mountain somewhere. Although is seemed inspiring, it wasn’t in my long-term vision for life.
Another tactic is to assess feasibility and the impact on your personal fulfillment. Having the right amount of funds is essential to achieve some dreams, so if you don’t have the capital in place yet, know that is a big part of turning your dream into a reality. It will require you to acquire money before you’re able to start it. And be real with yourself. Most dreams require money in some way or another. For example, owning and operating a farm, although quite wholesome, it can be a big investment that requires knowledge about real estate, farming, and how to do business in general.
And my favorite: Embrace the journey of self-discovery and adaptability, have faith in the pursuit of your dreams by aligning with your authentic self. Every day is an opportunity to meet yourself. Choosing the dream that you see yourself most as will make it easy for you to step into the power of that person and not seem like it’s something outside of yourself.
HOW TO HANDLE REGRET
There will be regrets no matter what path you choose, but when you relentlessly pursue the vision, the regrets become less and less over time, as your life becomes the proof for the purpose of why you chose this route in the first place.
Living a life of “No Regrets” isn’t all it's cracked up to be. You will have them regardless. Trust me… when I was traveling and living my life with the mantra of “no regrets”, I was following whatever dream came to me that day or night. It was super fun and I certainly learned a lot, but when I came home to the United States, a small part of me regretted not building something with a strong foundation instead of flitting from one dream to the next. Whether I traveled or stayed in one place, I think I would still have regretted not doing what the opposite was so, how do we deal with regret?
Rather than dwelling on the past, it's crucial to acknowledge and accept our regrettable actions or decisions. Embracing forgiveness, both for ourself and for others involved, is paramount in moving forward. Reflecting on the lessons learned from our experiences can provide valuable insights for future decision-making.
It's also beneficial to channel the energy spent on regret into positive actions and behaviors, focusing on personal development and making amends. Cultivating a mindset of resilience and acceptance allows us to recognize that mistakes are part of the human experience and can serve as catalysts for growth and self-improvement. Through this self-practice, we can gradually release the burden of regret and embrace opportunities for growth and renewal.
CONCLUSION
With so many dreams, it’s important to remember that a lot of them can still come true over the course of your life, but not all at once. Have patience with yourself and trust that you’re on the right path when the going gets tough, because it will. It won’t be easy to achieve your grandest dreams, you will have to put in some real work. But, I believe it will be worth it. So I’ll leave you with this quote by Jim Kwik:
